Dear Diary
by amyownfie
Summary: Skye had been given her assignment, poetry. She had to write a poem about something in her life and she knew she had a lot to draw inspiration from. But she didn't need to spend hours on her work live the rest of her class, she just typed up several pages from the journal she had hidden under her pillow. (T for slightly mature content)


AN- This is something I had actually written in my diary when I was having one of my really bad days, I want to publish it somewhere but I couldn't find anything appropriate so I turned it into a fanfic. Please enjoy and don't review too harshly.

DEAR DIARY

Skye had been given her assignment, poetry. She had to write a poem about something in her life and she knew she had a lot to draw inspiration from. But she didn't need to spend hours on her work live the rest of her class, she just typed up several pages from the journal she had hidden under her pillow.

 _Sometimes I want to hurt myself_

 _Sometimes I want to hurt other people_

 _Sometimes I want to kill those people_

 _And sometimes I want to kill myself_

 _But I don't, I'm too stubborn for that_

 _People say I complain a lot_

 _And I do, because I don't want to be miserable_

 _I just am. Get over it._

 _If I tried to kill myself I know what people would say_

' _It's so sad I wish I'd noticed'_

 _Well I know that at least one person would say_

' _I wish I'd done something'_

 _Because I do tell people things_

 _And I do make sure they know_

 _And they try to help, because let's face it_

 _I'm not paying for someone to do a worse job_

 _There's no point in a shrink because all they'd say is_

' _How are you feeling today?'_

 _I can't imagine how spilling all of my secrets to a stranger will make me less anxious_

 _And I really can't see how someone who really hasn't been there can 'understand'_

 _May as well save other people the hassle_

 _Of hearing about another girl that couldn't cope_

 _It might ruin their perfect morning_

 _But it won't be their hearts that broke_

 _Because let's be honest_

 _Unless you've been holding my hand_

 _You'd only have a small piece_

 _Of the hell that I have to face every day_

' _You don't have to face it alone'_

 _Actually I do have to face it on my own_

 _Because you aren't me_

 _I think I'd know if you were_

 _You can try to comprehend what happens in my little world_

 _But I'm afraid your little bubble is too small for that_

 _And I'm sure the demons that are eating at you_

 _Will seem way worse compared to mine_

' _The people who mind don't matter_

 _And the people that matter don't mind'_

 _More like most of the people that matter mind_

 _They're just too polite to say anything_

 _Let's be honest here_

 _We're all different people_

 _And this isn't a cry for attention_

 _More a scream of exasperation_

 _Because I'm tired of all the_

' _You can get through this'_

 _Because your opinion_

 _Probably won't be of much value_

 _And stop saying_

' _It'll get better'_

 _Because unless you're a wizard_

 _I'm fairly sure you don't know_

 _And I'm not saying_

 _Just give up_

 _I'm saying stop telling other people to carry on_

 _Because it's really distracting_

 _Yes I sometimes feel homicidal_

 _But is it really my fault_

 _You probably said something to annoy me_

 _I suggest you run if that happens_

 _Another point to talk about_

 _I really do put effort in_

 _Believe me you didn't notice_

 _Because you weren't actually there to see it happen_

 _I could call ten colleges_

 _And scour the city with CVs_

 _But until I actually get some qualifications_

 _They don't give a damn about me_

 _I wear a mask_

 _A mask to try to keep myself safe_

 _Kind of like a barrier to stop myself getting hurt_

 _And some of the time it holds_

 _And sometimes the mask falls_

 _The walls break down around me_

 _Some people get hurt_

 _And other people take offense_

 _I can promise you that I try_

 _And that I'm not just moody and loud_

 _I do try to be kind and honest_

 _But for some reason nobody takes note of that_

 _People only focus on the bad_

 _And to be honest that hurts_

 _I try to redeem myself_

 _But all people will say is 'but that happened'_

 _I can list a lot of things that I've done wrong_

 _And the list of things I've done right might not be as long_

 _But it's there and it's real_

 _It's proof that I do actually try_

 _But apparently that isn't even good enough any more_

 _I have to completely change myself apparently_

 _And that is honestly the hardest thing someone can ask you to do_

 _It's not easy, no matter what you try to tell people_

 _You can't just say_

 _I expect this to happen_

 _And neither can I_

 _All we can do is hope and be patient_

 _People say to me that they're patient_

 _And that they are a very calm person_

 _Then you could be able to help me_

 _Not just tell me to go and do it alone_

 _You can tell me that I'm wrong_

 _And that I need to correct myself_

 _But I have something to say to that_

 _Should you make a small change_

 _Because instead of standing firm on your ground_

 _And expecting everything to move around you_

 _Why doesn't everyone just make one small change_

 _Because I'm sure that if you added it up there's be a bigger difference_

 _If a seventeen year old needs to demonstrate this_

 _Then there is definitely something wrong_

 _Because I'm definitely not the wisest person on the planet_

 _I don't even have a driver's license yet_

 _I don't class as an adult_

 _And yet I'm expected to make adult decisions_

 _About things that I really don't understand_

 _It's frightening when you think about it_

 _But there's no point thinking about it for a little longer_

 _I've said enough to make your head burst_

 _And that's not even half of what I've had swimming around in my head_

 _I guess it'll just have to wait until next time_


End file.
